


Before I say I love you

by RachelZappia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:35:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelZappia/pseuds/RachelZappia
Summary: Sam and Dean have just lost their father and are finding it difficult to cope. However, a silly argument leads to something neither of them had ever expected... Based on the episode "Everyone loves a clown" in season 2
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 32





	Before I say I love you

**Author's Note:**

> It's me again everybody! I'm taking a break from my beloved Queen to try my hand at a Supernatural fan fiction! i just started Binging Supernatural and this will be my first fic involving Sam and Dean so you'll understand why if it sucks! Hope you guys enjoy and as usual, i am a slut for comments and kudos! (Also this does contain sibling incest so i'm sorry if I make anyone uncomfortable.)

Before I say I love you

Pairing: Sam and Dean (Supernatural)

Rating: Explicit

Description: Sam and Dean have just lost their father and are finding it difficult to cope. However, a silly argument leads to something that neither of them had ever expected… Based on the episode “Everyone love’s a clown” in season 2 

Sam followed Dean into yet another hotel room, feeling like he had just been hit by a truck. The hotel room was as generic and as blank faced as all of the others, but Sam was so exhausted he could’ve slept on a pile of broken stones.  
He snuck a look at Dean as they threw their bags onto the matching queen beds with their ivory colored spreads. Dean looked like he had been on a twenty mile death march. His jeans and gun metal grey polo were traced with dirt and old sweat, his blond hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in days, and his green eyes were free of the laughing light they usually had, his expression seeming like it could have soured milk chocolate.

“Well goodnight” Dean muttered, already getting ready to pull off his shirt.

“Dean… don’t you want to talk about what happened?”

“What’s there to talk about?” Dean asked, his cold expression unchanging.

“Dean our father is dead. We basically had to stand there and watch him die. We had to kill an innocent woman in order to exercise a demon and you almost died as well. That’s some pretty big baggage don’t you think?”

“You’re right Sammy” Dean answered quietly. “So why don’t you come here? I’ll lay my head gently on your shoulder and you can bury your lips in my hair as you hold me in your arms and whisper that it’s going to be ok. And after a good cry, maybe we can even slow dance.”

“Dean can you be serious for five minutes? Dad is gone, I almost lost you, and I’ve had to watch innocent people die. So I’m sorry if I don’t think this is that funny. Dad died because-”

Sam cut off but Dean immediately picked up his thought and grabbed Sam by the shoulders, pinning him to one of the beds. “Dad died trying to save me is that it Sam?”

Sam wriggled uncomfortably under Dean, who didn’t loosen his grip. “I didn’t say that Dean.”

“You didn’t have to. We both know it’s the truth.” Dean’s eyes burned with anger mixed with sadness. “I didn’t ask him to do that Sam. I didn’t ask to be brought back. Hell, I didn’t ask for this life at all!”  
Dean moved toward Sam like a viper. Thinking Dean would hit him, Sam’s blood turned cold when Dean bent his head and lowered clammy lips to Sam’s.

The kiss was over almost as soon as it had started. Dean pulled away from Sam as if he had been burned and ran tense hands through his blond hair.

“I’m sorry Sammy. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Swallowing hard, Sam asked “why did you?”

Dean heaved a sigh loud enough to wake the dead. “Sam I tried so hard to be normal. But our lives… what Dad forced on us… we couldn’t drag anyone into that. So all I had was you and Dad. And when you turned sixteen, you suddenly weren’t my annoying kid brother with knobbly knees anymore. I saw the way your hair fell into your eyes, the way you would toss your head to get it out of your face. I saw your shoulders under the tight t shirts you wore and I saw the way your jeans enveloped your legs. I tried Sam but I couldn’t stop thinking I could be more to you. I still can.”

Sam stared at Dean, flabbergasted by his brother’s confession. “So you’re bringing all of this up now?”

Dean sighed bitterly. “With Dad gone…” Dean trailed off but his point seemed very clear.

“Did he know?” Sam asked. “Dad I mean?”

“I don’t think so. I never told him anything and if he did know, I think he would’ve made it a point to never let me be alone with you.”  
“Dean I-“

“Sam this should be the last thing you should have to think about and the last thing I should be thinking about. Why don’t we just try to sleep for a few hours and then put this place in our review mirror in the morning?”

“Dean you can’t be serious. Our father is dead, you just admitted to me that you’ve been wanting to sleep together since I turned sixteen, and now you think you can sweep it under the bed and act like nothing’s happened?”

“Well what do you think we should do Sam? You want me to pin you to the bed and fuck you? You think that’s our answer?”

“It could be” Sam muttered without looking at Dean. 

“Sam you don’t want this.”

“You don’t know that Dean.” 

Sam finally moved from the bed, approaching Dean as if he were a wild animal. Dean placed both hands on Sam’s shoulders, holding him in place.

“Sammy if we do this it will only complicate things.”

Sam brushed his chestnut colored bangs out of his eyes, the gesture going straight to Dean’s groin. “Dean I would say no if I needed to.”

Taking a deep, trembly breath, Dean finally gave in, once again lowering his lips to Sam’s. The kiss started off soft and gentle before Sam opened his mouth, allowing Dean to slip his tongue in.   
The kiss quickly became heated and frenzy, both Sam and Dean fighting for dominance, tongues wrapping around one another like jealous lovers.

Dean pulled away to catch his breath, still keeping both hands on Sam’s back, slipping one up the back of Sam’s shirt.  
Sam began to pull off his shirt, revealing a chest that looked like it had been etched in granite. Dean simply stared at his brother, mouth watering.

“You’re so beautiful Sammy.”

Dean must’ve saw something in Sam’s eyes because he once again hesitated. “You sure Sammy? If we do this, I won’t be able to take it back.”

“I know” Sam answered quietly. “I wouldn’t want you to.”  
No longer hesitating, Dean took off his shirt, revealing a chest just as tight and hard as Sam’s. They reached for each other’s belts, they mouth’s suction cupped together.  
Dean gently pushed Sam onto one of the queen sized beds, following him down as he dug through his bag for a bottle of lube.

Sam felt his dick twitch as Dean lubed his fingers. “This might hurt a little Sam…”  
Sam took a deep breath as Dean inserted one finger. “You ok little brother?” Dean asked, rubbing Sam’s bare back with his free hand.

Sam felt a chill at the words. “I’m ok. Keep going…”

Dean inserted another finger and Sam tossed his head back, his sweaty hair falling into his eyes. “Fuck!”

Dean chuckled softly. “Feel good Sammy?”

“God yes…”

Dean added a third finger, making sure to hit Sam’s prostate each time. When Sam began to push back on Dean’s fingers, Dean pulled out and began to lube his cock.

“Ready for big brother’s cock?” Dean asked a moaning Sam.

Sam nodded frantically.

Dean slowly and gently entered Sam, being careful to not hurt him. Sam turned his head around to Dean, his hazel eyes turning to whiskey.

“Don’t be gentle Dean. I’m not going to break.”

Dean took the hint and began to pound, his arms and legs wrapped around Sam like a warm blanket. 

Neither of them lasted long, both of them coming on low moans. Sam fell into the bed sheets, Dean landing next to him, wrapping his sweaty limbs around Sam.

“You moan like a girl Sammy.”

Sam gave him a half hearted shove, settling tiredly into the downy pillows. “Jerk.”

“Bitch” Dean answered affectionately, nuzzling into Sam as he closed his eyes, finally feeling at peace since their dad’s death.


End file.
